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The Mortal Coyle: The Twilight Facebook Series. Here are my thoughts on Twilight, recorded as I was reading it on Facebook and now gathered in one place. No wonder there's so much vitriol spewed forth against it.. These might very well be the laziest vampires in all of fiction.. This chick has three guys clearly interested in her, and yet she still describes herself as depressed, the loner, the odd man out, etc; and spends all of her time obsessing over the guy who has said like five words to her.

Of course, not being a woman myself, I suppose this could be a completely accurate and unbiased account of the female mind. Also: the body count remains depressingly at zero. Still no one has been killed- are these vampires anorexic? Is this book some form of teenage morality play? Also, so far Edward has been described as .

Given that at this point she has had like two conversations with the guy, she is either some kind of insane stalker or shallowest protagonist ever. Which further makes me wonder how sad and boring life in the Pacific Northwest must be if that is what passes for a . Bella takes the stereotypically male position of deciding that she is in love with Edward based solely on his physical characteristics (seriously at the point when she says . In other words, Bella is shallow and focused on physical appearance, while Edward just wants to talk. That is, we have a second- hand report of a vampire attack.. An attack which occurred three and a half centuries earlier in Europe and resulted in the creation of a vampire who lives by eating deer.